Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Finding Sweetness in the Fussiness
Afternoon fussiness is back with a vengeance in our home. In the mornings, my sweet little Doodlebug wakes up smiling, giggling and excited to be awake. By afternoon, he is a fussy, nothing-will-console-me-but-keeping-trying-mama crazy man! Kid, you're supposed to feel refreshed after a 2 hour nap!
The other day we were cuddling in Mama and Dada's "big bed" post mid-day nap. Doodlebug's big eyes were staring right into mine. After 20 minutes, I thought we should get up. The conversation went like this:
Mama: Should we go downstairs and get a snack? Something to eat?
Doodlebug: No, no eat.
Mama: We can get an apple.
Doodlebug: No, no apple.
Mama: We can watch a Daniel Tiger.
Doodlebug: No, no Tiger.
Mama: We could play with our blocks.
Doodlebug: No, no play.
By this point, I'm losing my gentle mommy patience. I'm thinking about the dinner that needs prepping and laundry needs to go into the dryer.
Mama: Well, baby what DO you want?
Doodlebug: MAMAAA!
Heart MELT! You can bet we stayed in bed cuddling for another 20 minutes.
The other day we were cuddling in Mama and Dada's "big bed" post mid-day nap. Doodlebug's big eyes were staring right into mine. After 20 minutes, I thought we should get up. The conversation went like this:
Mama: Should we go downstairs and get a snack? Something to eat?
Doodlebug: No, no eat.
Mama: We can get an apple.
Doodlebug: No, no apple.
Mama: We can watch a Daniel Tiger.
Doodlebug: No, no Tiger.
Mama: We could play with our blocks.
Doodlebug: No, no play.
By this point, I'm losing my gentle mommy patience. I'm thinking about the dinner that needs prepping and laundry needs to go into the dryer.
Mama: Well, baby what DO you want?
Doodlebug: MAMAAA!
Heart MELT! You can bet we stayed in bed cuddling for another 20 minutes.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
Going Out with a Bang at Speech Therapy
Well yesterday was a rough day for Doodlebug and me. We had our last speech therapy session (that insurance would cover) and I was hoping to end on a high note since the last session went so well.
But that is not what happened. At all.
Doodlebug never really "took to" this therapist in the three sessions that we've had with her. She's very knowledgable and I respect her observations on Doodlebug's language development. But she has been kind of rigid (ha! Yep, using that word against THEM now) in her therapy with him - insisting for 15-20 minutes that he play with one specific toy even when he has shown no interest in it, telling me not to look at him or comfort him unless he is interacting with us productively, or with the toy with which she's trying to encourage play, etc.
The therapist kept commenting on how long he was continuing to be upset. She has noted in the past that no other children have taken this long to warm up to her. That felt like a huge judgement, like there's something wrong with my kid because he doesn't like her. He wanted mama and my ignoring him only made it worse. One touch or stroke of his head and he would have calmed down in seconds.
I get that he needs to learn self-soothing strategies for himself, but SERIOUSLY, he's two years old and we were in an unfamiliar place with someone he didn't trust. I don't think his behavior was odd. And I'm SO MAD at myself for listening to the therapist, ignoring my kid for 20 minutes and putting him through such an upsetting ordeal. She may be a speech expert, but I am an expert on my kid. Yesterday was a huge lesson for me. Wherever this road takes us, I will never let someone tell me to ignore my kid. NEVER AGAIN.
But that is not what happened. At all.
Doodlebug never really "took to" this therapist in the three sessions that we've had with her. She's very knowledgable and I respect her observations on Doodlebug's language development. But she has been kind of rigid (ha! Yep, using that word against THEM now) in her therapy with him - insisting for 15-20 minutes that he play with one specific toy even when he has shown no interest in it, telling me not to look at him or comfort him unless he is interacting with us productively, or with the toy with which she's trying to encourage play, etc.
The therapist kept commenting on how long he was continuing to be upset. She has noted in the past that no other children have taken this long to warm up to her. That felt like a huge judgement, like there's something wrong with my kid because he doesn't like her. He wanted mama and my ignoring him only made it worse. One touch or stroke of his head and he would have calmed down in seconds.
I get that he needs to learn self-soothing strategies for himself, but SERIOUSLY, he's two years old and we were in an unfamiliar place with someone he didn't trust. I don't think his behavior was odd. And I'm SO MAD at myself for listening to the therapist, ignoring my kid for 20 minutes and putting him through such an upsetting ordeal. She may be a speech expert, but I am an expert on my kid. Yesterday was a huge lesson for me. Wherever this road takes us, I will never let someone tell me to ignore my kid. NEVER AGAIN.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
Speech Delay and What Else...?
So the verdict is in. Based on the evaluation a few weeks ago, the Speech Pathologist has reported that Doodlebug has a "moderate delay" in expressive communication. This was difficult to hear, but also somewhat of a relief to me since knowing will help us better support him.
The Good News
Doodlebug will likely be able to communicate verbally at a level appropriate for his age with therapy sessions and some strategies we can use to communicate with him at home. The therapist is confident that his ability to achieve that goal is excellent with a few months of therapy. We've had two sessions so far and I can already see a difference. Doodlebug has started saying some two word phrases like "cat eat" "more orange" and "more car car". He has also started noticing verbs (other than eat and read") like "cook" and "play".
The I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-this-yet News
Of course, there was more to the report. The evaluator mentions that there were some common autism characteristics that she observed - only answering to his name some of the time, preference to play alone and his high interest in letters, numbers and colors at his age. I had noticed those traits in Doodlebug a while ago, but we had always dismissed any concerns by thinking those were normal traits for a two-year-old boy. But maybe not?
I had convinced myself that some traits I noticed were normal for a two-year-old (or at least normal for Doodlebug), like his fussiness at his 2nd birthday party or his very long warming up period for strangers. Large crowds and unexpected changes have always overwhelmed our sensitive little guy. I never wanted to make a big deal about that though. My feeling is that I'm not going to force my kids to socialize or to act like other kids. It's great that some kids like to play with other children, hold hands with them and sing and dance with them. My child does not. It's nice if your child will go with the flow around a new adult, babysitter, etc. Mine will not. He struggles with new people, he wants familiarity. If you're disingenuous or in a bad mood, my child senses it and stays far away from you. If he were an adult, we would considered him to be a good judge of character!
I'm feeling so many mixed emotions going into these evaluations/ therapies - hopeful, scared, anxious, but mostly overwhelmed right now. I'm due with our second baby in 10 weeks and I'm worried about giving Doodlebug all the extra attention he needs right now while trying to prepare for Ladybug's arrival. I guess I better start improving my juggling routine.
The Good News
Doodlebug will likely be able to communicate verbally at a level appropriate for his age with therapy sessions and some strategies we can use to communicate with him at home. The therapist is confident that his ability to achieve that goal is excellent with a few months of therapy. We've had two sessions so far and I can already see a difference. Doodlebug has started saying some two word phrases like "cat eat" "more orange" and "more car car". He has also started noticing verbs (other than eat and read") like "cook" and "play".
 |
| Doodlebug and his "unusual interest in letters" |
The I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-this-yet News
Of course, there was more to the report. The evaluator mentions that there were some common autism characteristics that she observed - only answering to his name some of the time, preference to play alone and his high interest in letters, numbers and colors at his age. I had noticed those traits in Doodlebug a while ago, but we had always dismissed any concerns by thinking those were normal traits for a two-year-old boy. But maybe not?
I had convinced myself that some traits I noticed were normal for a two-year-old (or at least normal for Doodlebug), like his fussiness at his 2nd birthday party or his very long warming up period for strangers. Large crowds and unexpected changes have always overwhelmed our sensitive little guy. I never wanted to make a big deal about that though. My feeling is that I'm not going to force my kids to socialize or to act like other kids. It's great that some kids like to play with other children, hold hands with them and sing and dance with them. My child does not. It's nice if your child will go with the flow around a new adult, babysitter, etc. Mine will not. He struggles with new people, he wants familiarity. If you're disingenuous or in a bad mood, my child senses it and stays far away from you. If he were an adult, we would considered him to be a good judge of character!
I'm feeling so many mixed emotions going into these evaluations/ therapies - hopeful, scared, anxious, but mostly overwhelmed right now. I'm due with our second baby in 10 weeks and I'm worried about giving Doodlebug all the extra attention he needs right now while trying to prepare for Ladybug's arrival. I guess I better start improving my juggling routine.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Speech Delay or Normal Distracted Two-Year-Old?
My first hint that Doodlebug might be falling behind developmentally was months ago when he was still going to full-time day care. At pick-up one day, I knelt down to say hello to one of his friends (another little boy who is only one month older than Doodlebug). "Where's Doodlebug?" I asked the little boy, expecting him to point or say "there". Instead, he replied, "He's right over there." A perfectly comprehensive 4 words sentence that I couldn't imagine Doodlebug saying even months from now.
Over the next few months, I've tried not to worry, but instead to celebrate Doodlebug for who he is. I thought staying home and having more one-on-one time with me would help him develop speech better. I've always heard other parents say that their child just started talking one day or that their child changed so much in just one month. So I guess I was crossing my fingers and hoping that's what would happen for Doodlebug.
November came and went and then December and the holidays, too. It seemed like Doodlebug's speech hadn't advanced at all. He has learned new some new words. My little guy knows all the letters of the alphabet, all the colors of the rainbow, numbers from 1 to 13 and even many shapes. But don't ask him to tell you what he's doing, ask for what he wants or talk about a book in even a two-word phrase. Because he won't. He has not seemed to grasp the idea of verbs, his speech has just not advanced to that point yet.
Maybe this is normal. I don't know. I do know that I watch other kids his age and most of them speak in sentences and listen and respond when spoken too. Tomorrow we will have the first of numerous evaluations. Maybe Doodlebug is totally normal and I'm expecting too much, or maybe he does have a developmental delay or disorder. Either way, I'm looking forward to getting some answers and perspective.
No matter what happens, I know he will still be my lovable little man with his squinty-eyed smile and his sweet kisses. NOTHING can ever change that. But I have to admit, I am feeling nervous and holding my breath tonight.
Over the next few months, I've tried not to worry, but instead to celebrate Doodlebug for who he is. I thought staying home and having more one-on-one time with me would help him develop speech better. I've always heard other parents say that their child just started talking one day or that their child changed so much in just one month. So I guess I was crossing my fingers and hoping that's what would happen for Doodlebug.
November came and went and then December and the holidays, too. It seemed like Doodlebug's speech hadn't advanced at all. He has learned new some new words. My little guy knows all the letters of the alphabet, all the colors of the rainbow, numbers from 1 to 13 and even many shapes. But don't ask him to tell you what he's doing, ask for what he wants or talk about a book in even a two-word phrase. Because he won't. He has not seemed to grasp the idea of verbs, his speech has just not advanced to that point yet.
Maybe this is normal. I don't know. I do know that I watch other kids his age and most of them speak in sentences and listen and respond when spoken too. Tomorrow we will have the first of numerous evaluations. Maybe Doodlebug is totally normal and I'm expecting too much, or maybe he does have a developmental delay or disorder. Either way, I'm looking forward to getting some answers and perspective.
No matter what happens, I know he will still be my lovable little man with his squinty-eyed smile and his sweet kisses. NOTHING can ever change that. But I have to admit, I am feeling nervous and holding my breath tonight.
Monday, January 13, 2014
In These Quiet Moments
Sunlight peeks through the shades and casts a light glow on Doodlebug's blue room.
His eyes are heavy with sleep, but he still has a strong grip on my ear.
The nuk in his mouth squeaks.
I know he will be asleep in a moment and that I could leave him drowsy, but I cannot tear myself away from this rare, quiet moment with my son. We lay still, staring at the ceiling and breathe in rhythm, our chests rising and falling together. Doodlebug rolls toward me and softly rubs his hands on either side of my face. "Mama" he whispers, before closing his eyes into sleep.
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